Showing posts with label 100days. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 100days. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Im/polite Global Construction Kit

Under construction. Send in your ideas, questions, etc.

In order to rethink politeness conventions and try to construct a revised or new set for universal use, I've been thinking about:

What are the values, beliefs and attitudes that should be the guiding principles for the development and use of a universal politeness set of conventions? For example: equity, fairness, thoughtfulness, save face...

What are the kinds of things we want to be able to do with/you can do with the conventions? For example: accept and reject, say yes, say no, praise, achieve our needs, enter and exit a conversation or a relationship, sgive a gift, say thank you...

What tools do we have available to us to help us convey our goals? For example: hands, nose eyes, mouth, stance, movement, getting closer, getting further away, touch, speech, tone, dress, pen and paper, grammatical features, internet...

Monday, January 11, 2010

Learning from animals

"Lessons from Geese" was transcribed from a speech given by Angeles Arrien at the 1991 Organizational Development Network and was based on the work of Milton Olson.

Lessons from Geese - How can you apply each one for enhancing or guiding human interactions and new im/politeness guidelines? In what ways are humans like and different from these geese social behaviors? Which of these behaviors ought to/could be part of our new guidelines for politeness?

1. As each goose flaps its wings, it creates an "uplift" for the birds that follow. By flying in a "V" formation, the whole flock adds 71% greater flying range than if each bird flew alone.

2. When a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of flying alone. It quickly moves back into formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird immediately in front of it.

3. When the lead bird tires, it rotates back into formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird immediately in front of it.

4. The geese flying in formation honk to encourage those up front to keep up their speed.

5. When a goose gets sick, wounded, or shot down, two geese drop out of formation and follow it down to help and protect it. They stay with it until it dies or is able to fly again. Then, they launch out with another formation or catch up with the flock.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Im/polite 100days Image

Images, videos, jokes and cartoons for Im/polite




1.


2.
Comic George Carlin's spoken list of impolite words: http://mog.com/music/George_Carlin/Carlin_on_Campus/An_Incomplete_List_of_Impolite_Words

3.
An Ancient Story

A man who led basically a good life died and was assigned to Hell for a short time. He discovered that the main torture in Hell was that everyone was forced to eat with spoons that were longer than their arms. The condemned spent eternity in the midst of excellent food they couldn't eat. When he was finally transferred up to Heaven, he found that the blessed were given the same spoons. In heaven, howver, no one went hungry because they fed each other.

4. Here you will find some cartoons on social skills:
http://www.cartoonstock.com/directory/s/social_skills.asp

5.
Asymmetric politeness
http://russelldavies.typepad.com/planning/2008/12/asymmetric-poli.html

6.
Check out Dr. Seuss video The Zax http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sfI9e4BX0lU

7.
Some more Dr. Seuss: The Grinch Grinches The Hat in the Cat http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uEGGTqutLpA and The Sneetches Part 1 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ln3V0HgW4eM&feature=related and part 2 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0LgMpfLD1Y&NR=1

Tweets

Posted tweets

1. What does it mean to be im/polite? Send me your ideas.

2. Can animals be polite and impolite?

3. How do we work out that different groups and different cultures use different rules/conventions for what is im/polite?

4. Is there a right and a wrong way to be im/polite?

5. Can you be im/polite if you don’t know the rules?

6. Politeness-engage in n atmosphere of relative harmony: tact/generosity/approbation/modesty/agreement/sympathy

7. Can you be polite and impolite at the same time.

8. Can you be im/polite only in your thoughts (without putting it into action) and still be im/polite?

9. Is it/can it be im/polite to ask how to be polite?

10. Check out curious politeness reversal in Luis Buñuel´s film The Phantom of Liberty. Private is public and public is private. 1974

11. How can you be polite if you don’t know how to be polite?

12. How do you learn the rules or conventions of being polite when you don’t know them?

13. Can you be im/polite to yourself?

14. Can a lie be polite?

15. Is it impolite to tell someone they’re being impolite?

16. Can you imagine a world (what it would be like to be) without rules/conventions for im/politeness?

17. Read The Monkey and the Fish at http://marjoriekanterprojects.blogspot.com/ How important point of view is. Add to this: Is it impolite to impose your way on osmeone else when that is not their way?

18. Lies mixed with extreme and good politeness conventions can be a very dangerous thing.

19. Are there polite and impolite ways to teach im/politeness?

20. What polite things did you do today and what polite things happened to you?

21. You are amongst a group of cannibals and they have chosen to integrate you into their society. Are you impolite to refuse to eat?

22. Politeness is more than “Por favor”. http://im-polite100days.blogspot.com/

23. Polite exchange: Be the first to get up and make breakfast, be the last to get up and make the bed. Edited version: First to get up makes breakfast, last to get up makes the bed.

24. The human mind can be creative, invent things; let’s get creative about politeness.

25. What’s polite in one culture might be impolite in another.
Post examples: eyes, thumbs up, who can talk when

26. When some people get crowded they push.

27. Conventions and inventions: Why are people like they are?

28. Why do we eat sardines yet never goldfish, ducks yet never parrots? Eviatar Zerubavel

29. Japanese proverb: When you are polite, the others think they are wearing flowers.

30. Courtesy walking/ Why do I always have to be the one to get out of the way? M. Kanter (I displace the air as I walk)

31. Politeness conventions change over time.

32. Is it impolite to give directions when you don’t really know?

33. Does it matter who is impolite first?

34. Do you know how to take turns?

35. A politeness convention must be an agreement between at least two people.

36. Anti-politeness statement: All is fair in love and war.

37. Can you drop a bomb politely?

38. “The English are polite by telling lies. The Americans are polite by telling the truth.”

39. Is it impolite to ignore a beggar?

40. Do you always say what you mean? Do you always mean what you say?

41 How do you stay polite when you are feeling angry or frustrated?

42 Is it im/polite if a woman kisses a man's hand instead of a man kissing the woman's hand?

43 Can you be politely impolite? If your answer is yes, give an example.

44 Can it ever be polite to be impolite?

45 Did politeness conventions come about for altruistic reasons?

46 How do you know when close is too close for comfort?

47 All2gether 123:tenpeople sitn round a table at the same time = ten simultaneously talkingpeople = Spain #100days

48.Overheard talk:Calla niño, es de mala educación hablar con la boca llena. Shut up kid. It's impolite to talk with ur mouth full.

49. What's your politeness orientation?

50. Leaving my yoga class early: Do I say good-bye or do I elect not to interrupt and just walk out? Which is more im/polite?

51. What do you think? Politeness conventions require fair intentions?

52. Things ucan do with impolite conventions: Interrupt Insult Reject Ignore Changetopics Hogthetalktime Hangup Avoid What else?

53. Sum things u can do withpolite behaviors:Thank WelcomeTaketurns Changetopic Apologize Request Exit Enteraconversation Whatelse?

54. Extreme impoliteness: He jumped down my throat.

55. Tools for expressing im/politeness:EyesHandsNoseMouthWords SoundsToneBody ClothingTelephoneTimeSpacePlaceFistWhat else?

56. Use of tools:MovementPositionDistanceStanceTouchGettingcloser GettingfurtherawayStaring ArrivaltimeExpectedtimeHangup What else?

57. I learned to be polite because it was the polite thing to do.

58. SicilianPverb "It's notpolite2eat just thecenter ofthecheese &just
the breadcrust "Do: Findsome1 wholikes theoppositeof u&share.

59. Check out, enjoy and comment: Dr Seuss The Zax http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sfI9e4BX0lU

60. Whogets last seat?FastestOldestFem in very hiheelsXhaustd young
workr Woman+babyPerson with bigheavyboxSmallchildDrunkHandicapd

61. There is more than one way to represent the world.

62. Words 2 rhyme polite:FightFrightKnightMighInvitetRightSpiteFlightBlight DelightKnightInciteAlrightSlightUptightTonightInsight

63. Can machines be polite? http://im-polite100days.blogspot.com/

64 Polite fiction:social scenario+all r aware of a truth but pretend 2 believe other version of events to avoid emabarrass or conflict

65 Reversiblity/If I did that to her/she wouldn't like it./(so) why does she do/it to me? www.elasunto.com/mkd.htm

66 Watch your p's and q's. It all depends on the culture. Did you know that thumbs up can be very insulting in some cultures?

67 Wewere in2ndgrade:Teacher toldus 2 butonup r lips,zip themup.I did agood sewing job, butTommydidn't & hegot his ear pulled good.

68 Linguist visitinSpain asksSpaniard Whendine?Spanishtime or realtime? Spaniard says Realtime. Visitor showsup at6, Spaniard at10.#100days

69 Which culture/value/behavior takes precedence when several r in conflict or contradiction?Which can cohabit in their diferences? #100days

70 Could it be that a person you think is impolite or rude thinks the same about you?#100days

71 Crossing cultures: It can all be so confusing.

72 Sometimes I don't know how to behave and I wish I did.

73 She knew/Why didn't she tell me? www.elasunto.com/mkd.htm

74 What's the difference between an im/polite person and an im/polite act? http://bit.ly/77jlIT #100days

75 It's very hard to combat polite impolitenesses.

76 What happens when 2 verypolitepeople who come from different cultures with different conventions try to be(have) polite(ly)?

77 How many times do you say good-bye before it's really good-bye? Could add this but not there: before you really leave before other really leaves.

78 Double standard: What things can a member of a culture (an insider) do that a non-member (an outsider) can't and vice versa?

79 Duble implite:Who ismore impolite-(u) walkinbtween 2 people who r talkin&blocking the aisle allowing no one 2 get by,u or they?

80 TheGreat Pretender/Heknows how 2listen withoutlistening.FromTheSaddle StitchNotebooks #1 WorksinProcess www.elasunto.com/mkd.htm

81 What animal behaviors might be precursors to human im/politeness behaviors?

82 Cafe sitting//Today's/the day//for nose pickers/walking by.//I'm on my 5th one. www.elasunto.com/mkd.htm

83 "Politeness: the most acceptable hypocrisy." Ambrose Bierce

84 Have a conversation today on im/polite with someone. Let us know how it went. We're spreading the word!

85 .heT dreor ni hihcw gtshni r node anc b pimtnaort The order in which things are done can be important.

86a CanAWishBPolite? This is a 2 part tweet. This is part 1.

86b ItHasStartd2Rain//I watchan eldrly/gentlmn/asHe/unfoldsacloth/hankerchief/&placesit/care(ful)y/ovrhishead./(Ihopeit'sjustadrizl)

87 How do u -know how/learn how 2- take someone else's point of view?

88 Can you b im/polite to the universe?

89HoldinHerUP/Thiswoman callsme onthephon./Shetalks&talks&tlks&tk./Then allof asuden Isay2words,mayb3./Shenervouslysays,I’ve got2go. from “I displace the air as I walk”, M. Kanter.

90 Politeness conventions can b used 4 different purposes; the way in which they r used is/can b
important.

91 It sounddlike acompliment but itwas reallyan insult.Thewholestory isin thecombinationofWordsToneVolume IntentionGestureMovmentetc.

92 There seems2 b a rudenes epidemic runing all around town:NoiseDogshitGarbagemaking Unfairsharing of resources What else?

93 What do u/do we/do about/do with those who use politeness conventions 4 unfair practices?

94 Let’splay royalty&pauper 4theday. Who gets2play what?Now reverse theroles. How do u have 2behave in each&howdo ufeel?

95 Can u b 2 polite?

96a What values&beliefs go with politeness conventions? Howdo theywork 2gether&in
conflict.

96b ModestyHonestyAppearances Equity&FairnesSafety Power relationshipsRespectetc.Whatr thevalues&beliefs 2b taken in2 consideratn?

97 Politeness where did it come from where is it where is it going where do we want it to go where could it go?

98a How do we/can we rewrite this politeness biz 2 meet values, attitudes&beliefs that can work on a universal level?

98b Which existing
conventions canb used&whichmust b totaly changd?

99 ¿Polite or impolite? From whose point of view, urs or mine or ours or theirs or everybodies?

100 100 How did these conventions come about anyway!?!

Proverbs, sayings etc.

Under Construction

"To find out what others are feeling, don't prod or poke. If you want play with a turtle, you can't get it to come out of its shell by prodding and poking it with a stick, you might kill it. Be gentle not harsh, hard or forceful." - Source Unknown


"Politeness -- The most acceptable hypocrisy." - Ambrose Bierce

"A true gentleman is one who is never unintentionally rude." Oscar Wilde

"(A gentleman) is any man who wouldn’t hit a woman with his hat on." Fred Allen

"Man is the only animal that learns by being hypocritical. He pretends to be polite and then, eventually, he becomes polite." Jean Kerr

"When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite." Winston Churchill |

"There is a kind of courtesy in skepticism. It would be an offense against polite conventions to press our doubts too far." George Santayana |

"Rudeness is not something people take lightly," said Caldwell, "and that almost seems to be hard-wired into us."

"When you feel that the people you are dealing with day to day don't have manners, it gives you the feeling that the world is somehow coming apart," said Tannen. "It makes you feel that everything is out of control."

"Too much politeness conceals deceit." Chinese proverb

"One can conceal a murder but not impoliteness." Chinese proverb

"When a man is trying to sell you something, don't imagine that he is polite all the time." Edgar Watson Howe

"Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other." Mark Twain

"Polite strangers often tell soothing lies about our physical appearance that prevent many of us from facing, discussing and solving our real problems." Martha Beck

“Manners are the hypocrisy of a nation.” Honore de Balzac